We surely are clocking up those airport kisses. This is the fifth trip for me in 3 years which means the fifth airport reunite kiss AND he was there with plenty of time and was waiting yay. It was successful kiss at the gate #2 😂😂
I have just yesterday finished reading the book ‘Committed – A Love Story’. A book written by Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat Pray Love who fell in love with Filipe a Brazillian born Australian citizen who she met in Bali.
If you have read or seen Eat Pray Love you will know that she has already been through a terrible divorce, Felipe had too also been through a divorce and both vowed never to marry again. Well their story takes a turn after living between America and many other countries for a number of years when they fly back into America this last time and are stopped at the border. So as to not give the story away and long story short Felipe is denied entry and they are basically told he can not enter again unless they are married.
This book is Elizabeth Gilbert delving into the history of marriage while being stuck in the immigration web trying to get her husband back into the country. Sounds a little bit all to familiar to me…
I loved this book. Yes of course because so many parts hit home for me but I loved her narrative on the history of marriage and so many of the cultural, societal and political view points that she brought to it. Moving into marriage myself I have began to think about what marriage means and trying to make sense of some of the characteristics it might take to build a successful marriage. There were so many nuggets of gold In there that I enjoyed that I never ‘dog ear’ my pages but I just had too.
And then reading the many stories of hers and Felipes’ life up to and during that time was like reading pages out of my own story. I saw so much of Wagi and I in that book and when the end arrived and they received their outcome from the Deaprtment of Homeland Security I literally wept and sobbed like a baby. Because I could see myself in that moment and I could feel what it will feel like when Wagi is allowed to come home and it was beautiful to me.
This book also allowed me to take some of the fear away from the immigration process and to take control of our situation and approach a lawyer we had been in contact with to represent us. I am not going to lie Fear held me back in that one and I am grateful for my sister for pointing this book into my life’s direction because it gave me the strength to push on and faith that it all will be well.
Falling in love with a man from a country in different time zones to yours and then carrying that relationship over three years is no easy feat.
Long distance ain’t for chumps.
We gonna get this.
Te Amo XX
So we have taken the first step this year towards hopefully getting legal help to bring my love home to New Zealand. I haven’t spoken very much on here of why we are not both living together in New Zealand a) Because it hurts so damn much and b). Because we are at the hands of an agency that decides our fate so going too public on our information just doesn’t feel too right just now.
But let’s just say we have had to really look around for the right lawyer and that lawyer has defined our case as very complex. We made contact with him last year in April last year before Raymond and I travelled to Brazil for 3 months but we weren’t really able to afford what it was going to cost to begin the process so we held off. Not that we are in any better state now but we are just going to do what it takes and do it now.
When I write it, it seems pretty crazy to start now especially when we are in the throws of organising not one but two weddings!! I am currently unemployed (recently redundant) and Wagi is on a trial period at a restaurant in Copacabana. But everything is possible and we have to believe that we can do everything we set our minds to.
Holy mother of craziness. I am no longer myself and a mutant version juiced up on extra estrogen has taken over my body and turned me into a weeping, whinging, unhappy, angry version of Aroha.
All I can see is all that is wrong in the world and not what is right. It is like an out of body experience that I can’t control….
That was me four weeks ago. Why was I juiced up on estrogen you may ask? Well we decided that I would start taking the contraceptive pill for this trip in Brazil to be safe and not to fall pregnant. I had been here not even three weeks and a darkness descended over me like a thunderstorm on a sunny day.
It was horrible and it was dark and all I can say is that in reflection my heart warms with an intense gratitude towards Wagi for holding us so strong through those days.
Of course I know it didn’t help with me suffering an intense case of homesickness at the same time. Or maybe the hormones brought on the homesickness and all compounded…. Either way it was shit. So as you can understand we came off the pill and I will look at another form of contraception for my short trip back to NZ.
We have had two miscarriages since we have been doing long distance, both times on my return from trips from Brazil. One in 2014 and one in 2015 and that is also pretty horrible to go through without your partner to physically be by your side to help you through the emotions. But we got through it and as always we survived but we don’t a repeat of those times again so we are trying to err on the side of caution. All that being said the Pill did not work for us.
A way enough said.
Te Amo XX
I am on a mission.
By all means necessary I will be able to have my Brazil wedding without a translator. I will be able to hear and understand what the celebrant will say to solidify our Brazil Marriage and I have exactly 390 days (until my wedding) to do so. My challenge is set!
The other reason the mission is set is because every time I speak Portuguese or show Wagi new sentences or words that I have been using his eye either light up (if we are on Skype or in person) or I can hear his voice change (if we are on the phone) to love and excitement and pride. I want him to be impressed I want him to think me even sexier with the language and I know it does those things for him.
I am using two online tools for learning; Duolingo and Semantica – Portuguese, both of which have helped me on my three trips to Brazil thus far. I found that Duolingo prepped me for the basics and word recognition quite quickly, I was only up to level 10 so I am sure it will help me with heaps more as I progress. And Semantica – Portuguese helped me with everyday situations, because I had the characters in my mind I was able to recall information quite quickly also I can still picture the situations that I had seen with this style of learning. If you want to read more information about both of these tools check out these links! For Duolingo here, and Sematica – portuguese here.
Duolingo says that I am 33% fluent and my aim is to be 100% by then. I haven’t been as active as I should be with my language learning but now that I have set myself the goal I will work hard with dedication!
Anyway I will keep the journey updated of my learnings.
When everything feels brand new
The energy renews itself
It polishes rough days
To welcome in love
I am so blessed.
When everthing feels brand new
The look in your eyes
Radiates through my body
And shows me love
I am so blessed
When everthing feels brand new
My son is learning
He is welcomed with love
His smile is joyous
I am so blessed
It is you I say. It is you.
It is me I say. It is me.
It is us my love. It is us.
When everything feels brand new.
I didn’t want this space to become only about our hardships, because our journey and much so, my journey has so many things to be grateful for so here goes…
In todays daily reflection I am thankful for:
🌟 The love from my son, who at thirteen can see a change in my energy and will always ask ‘Are you ok Mum?’
🌟 The strength of Wagners ability to soothe and care for me when I feel like breaking. The vibration of his voice that resonates in my body long after we have finished speaking.
🌟 The fresh sea air from my walk on the beach at Piha. My soul needed it.
🌟 The never ending support of my sisters who continue to do so always.
🌟 Lazy weekends that allow me to be quiet in times of need.
It had been so hot and when we arrived back to Valadares a few weeks ago and we were told apparently there is a mosquito outbreak.
No apparently. Definitely.
And who do you think they were loving the most?? Yup you guessed it the sweet now blooded estrangeiros (foreigners) that had just arrived. The kid and I.
I am not one for harming any type of living anything but I have never been so happy to see the death of a mosquito… and when I say ‘a’ I mean all of them. I have never been so grateful for what I thought to be a pointless invention. An electric tennis racket that when hit electrocutes the mosquito to smitherines. No more mosquito. Yay.
I also read up on mosquitoes and what happens when their saliva penetrates your skin and reacts to your body and activates all the cortisol in that area. And when you scratch it the cortisol is heightened and spreads and make you want to itch more. I also looked up all the natural remedies as well to stop the itching. Lavender. Check. Soap. Check. Onions. Check. Garlic. Check. Cloves. Check. Lemon. Check. Alcohol. Check. Yup did them all. And in many cases a combination of options worked.
I am writing this in retrospect because apparently you become immune to them around 21 days later. Seems to be true. Well at least, a reduction of biting seems to have occurred. Oh my days. There were times when I thought I was going to completley lose it (a couple of times I did) but I am getting there.
Wagis mum worries about us and the mosquitoes. She is a wonderful lady always caring and checking on us and for that we are grateful.
Anyway I wrote a letter to the world about mosquitoes. Here you go.
Dear Mr Mosquito,
I never understood what function you serve in this world. I think you are annoying and pointless.
Love Aroha xx
NB: Purple Monster is the term I have come up with to describe a bad mood. Or feeling impatient or grumpy and basically a shitty mood. Sounds way more interesting than the terms above x
Woke up this morning. Everything was OK. Got myself up and could feel the purple monster creeping up inside of me.
Ok go have coffee Aroha. You need it.
Come back to the room and I could feel purple again. I can’t find order. There are things everywhere. I miss my draws. I miss my morning lattes. I miss being able to sleep naked (see previous post on shared bedroom with fianće and kid). I can feel purple creeping up.
Fianće comes in with the kid and says “Babe we are going for a…..”
Looks at me and my face. He knows my energy, he knows my face. He just knows.
“Aw Babe I can feel it”
“It’s ok love just shut the door and give me 10 minutes. I’ll lie down and reset myself”
Kid walks over to me and says
“Mum here” puts his hands above my head as if to transmit energy
“I’m gonna give you some of my good energy” starts to make energy transmisson sounds over my head. Fianće starts too. Sharing his positive energy to lift me too. I now have two beautiful human beings gifting me their good energy.
One of the most powerful, beautiful and amazing gifts ever. To no surprise at all it worked. Away went purple and in came white and yellow.
These two. Me. Us. Them. We. Team.
It doesn’t work if one of us is off balance so through roughness we have to see light. I am so grateful for both of them. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world without them.
Te amo x